FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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