I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
