my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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