I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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