matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A bitchslap is in order.
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