I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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