YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
