saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
