Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
