I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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