I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
