drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
this is an emotional support booty call
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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