Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
