Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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