After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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