But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
