What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
