Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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