You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
