I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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