I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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