I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
