I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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