Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.