So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.