scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened