you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I need moral support for this bender
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update