Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize