she looked like the before picture.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
