I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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