It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
