Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
