They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i was born a porn star she said
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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