I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
its liver damage thursday
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
