So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I touched a dick in church today
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
