tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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