Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
