I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can I color on your dick again?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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