and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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