She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
