You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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