ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
