my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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