i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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