I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We named our party play list daddy issues
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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