I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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