I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
