people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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