Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize