i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
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it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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