i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
