areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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