Pregnant stripper...not hot.
what day is it and did you see me today?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
