Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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