No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
