How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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