I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
false alarm. still invincible.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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