I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
