This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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