Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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