Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
