Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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