M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
