Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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