Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
