My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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