before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
