just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
