then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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