So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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